DIVORCE QUIZ IS YOUR MARRIAGE ON THE BRINK?

Are you headed for a divorce?

A new survey of 22 questions can give a clear indication of whose relationship is rock- solid – and whose marriage is careening to the rocks.

The survey is simple but perceptive – and it’s based on what couples know and don’t know about each other.

And, not surprisingly, those who are most knowledgeable about their partners’ likes, dislikes, interests and hobbies are most likely to enjoy the married life.

Most important for couples is maintaining a good friendship, said Dr. John Gottman of Washington University, who created the test after studying couples for more than 20 years.

“Friendship is over looked – although it is equally important to men and women,” he told London’s Daily Mail.

“Seventy percent of the passion, romance and sex for men stems from friendship – and the percentage is even higher for women.”

Gottman said one of the best ways to strengthen friendship is to create a detailed “love map” in your mind.

By memorizing all the relevant information about your partner’s hopes, dreams, worries and fears, couples “remember the major events in each other’s histories,” he told the paper.

“One of most important things in a marriage is being and staying interested in your partner and keeping your partner interested in you.”

There’s no way of knowing whether Gottman’s test could have saved high-profile couples like Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, but Gottman says his quiz is 90 percent accurate.

He has also discovered four attitudes he says are a sure sign that a relationship is in trouble: defensiveness, stonewalling, criticism and, worst of all, contempt.

“You would think that criticism would be the worst because criticism is a global condemnation of a person’s character,” he told an interviewer.

“With criticism, I might say to my wife, ‘You’re selfish and insensitive.’ She’s going to respond defensively to that. That’s not very good for our problem solving and interaction. But if I speak from a superior plane, that is far more damaging, and contempt is any statement made from a higher level.”

And there are other factors beyond a couple’s understanding of each other that can contribute to a bust-up – the dreaded mother-in-law factor, matrimonial lawyers say.

—

How well do you know your partner?

1) I can name my partner’s best friends

2) I know what stresses my partner is currently facing

3) I know the names of somepeople who have been irritating my partner lately

4) I can tell you some of my partner’s life dreams

5) I know my partner’s basic philosophy of life

6) I can list the relatives my partner likes the least

7) I feel that my partner knows me pretty well

8) When we’re apart, I think fondly of my partner

9) I often touch or kiss my partner affectionately

10) My partner really respects me

11) There is passion in our relationship

12) Romance is still part of our relationship

13) My partner appreciates the things I do

14) My partner likes my personality

15) Our sex life is mostly satisfying

16) At the end of the day my partner is glad to see me

17) My partner is one of my best friends

18) We just love talking to each other

19) There is lots of give and take (both people have influence) in our discussions

20) My partner listens respectfully even when we disagree

21) My partner is usually a great help as a problem solver

22) We generally mesh well on basic values and goals in life

Your score

15 or more positive answers: You have a lot of strength in your relationship.

8 to 14: This is a pivotal time in your relationship. There are strengths you can build upon but there are weaknesses that need your attention.

7 or fewer: Your relationship may be in serious trouble and could beheaded for the rocks. If this concerns you, you probably still value the relationship enough to tryto get help.

ncG1vNJzZmimqaW8tMCNnKamZ2JlfXZ7j2tmaXBfmba3u9GcnGappZ7HbrXSZrCoraJiuqK%2B0aKYoJ1dpLtuwMeeZJuqmaO4cA%3D%3D